Will he contact me to reunite?

Querent: T.

Question: Will B. contact me to reunite?

Background: “Intense 2 year relationship ended April 2011. We both blame the other person. I miss him…not sure how he feels. Our biggest roadblock in the relationship was raising children together. I think if it had just been us we would still be together.”

June 6, 2011
12:59:43 PM EDT
South Nassau County, NY

Ascendant: 18 Virgo 54
Moon: 14 Leo 42

Dear T.,

I’m sorry to hear of the difficulties that led you and your ex to separate. I hope that this horary will help you to reach clarity about your future prospects with him.

I set up the chart for the time when I understood your question.

In this chart, you are signified by Mercury (planetary ruler of the 1st house) in the 9th house, near the top of the chart, and by the Moon in the 11th house. Mercury is strong is his own sign as well as elevated near the Midheaven, which he rules. Being single again and in charge of your own affairs, you are perhaps in a better place than you realize.

Your ex is signified principally by Jupiter in the shadowy 8th house, a placement telling us that your ex is keeping to himself. Jupiter has just moved out of Aries into Taurus, a fixed sign ruled by Venus. He appears to have settled into his new life and begun to miss female companionship.

In order to bring you two back together, Mercury and Jupiter need to make an aspect to one another. But because they are in adjacent signs, they do not “see” one another nor are they connected to a third planet that could link them up. Mercury and Jupiter aren’t in places that favor one another either, indicating a lack of mutual or common interest. In fact, by virtue of being in its own sign, Mercury is in a place (> Gemini) where Jupiter cannot function optimally. Thus, the chart lacks what would be the clearest evidence that you and your ex will reunite.

Mercury and the Moon are, however, powerfully engaged with the Sun on the Midheaven. In love questions, if the Sun is in an important place like the Midheaven (as here), it can represent the man in question. Here, Mercury applies to a conjunction with the Sun. And the Moon is less than a degree shy of completing a harmonious sextile aspect with the Sun. Both aspects show, minimally, that there will opportunity to reestablish contact in the near future.

I can certainly see in this configuration the “intensity” that you speak of. The Moon – ruler of the emotional nature – is in the Sun’s sign Leo, describing your intensely felt need to be with your man. Additionally, Mercury being so close to the Sun is entering a state that we call combustion or “burning up”; this indicates a growing obsession with your ex that could easily become overwhelming.

I think that your intense feelings will make you impatient for him to make the first move. The fact that Mercury and the Moon are both reaching out to connect with the Sun does, in fact, show you reaching out to the man. Indeed, the fact that your significator is Mercury, ruler of communication, argues that you will be the one to call or write first, not he.

Nevertheless, difficulties in the chart lead me to think that it would inadvisable to try to revive the relationship, however fervently you may wish to do so. Just as the Sun overpowers Mercury, there is a danger that the relationship will become all-consuming. That the combustion happens in Mercury’s own domicile doesn’t mitigate things much, I think. If you are the home-owner or the lease-holder (> Mercury in domicile), for example, it could easily show problems arising should he move in with you. Remember, too, that Mercury is in a sign hostile to Jupiter: it wouldn’t be a good situation for him either, precisely because it would bring out the worst in him.

There are other things in the chart that urge caution. The Sun, to whom your significators apply, rules the 12th house of self-undoing. The Sun is conjunct the South Node in 10th house: private problems become public knowledge. Venus, natural ruler of love matters, is in her own sign Taurus but is conjunct the very destructive star Algol, suggestive of a good person making reckless relationship choices; the picture mirrors Mercury’s dangerous proximity to the Sun. At the same time, Venus separates from Mars in detriment in Taurus, describing past arguments. Finally, after the Moon sextiles the Sun, she will go on to square this debilitated, angry Mars. It is a final testimony that, even if things seem to come together, it’s really the calm before the storm.

You mention the children. Children are shown by Saturn, ruler of the 5th house. Saturn rules obstacles and impediments, an appropriate signifier for what you describe as a “roadblock.” Saturn is on the cusp of the 2nd, so I think that the financial pressures of raising children together – not the children themselves – were the root of the problem. However, Saturn is exalted in this chart, making Saturn’s difficulties into a source of benefit. Read in light of other chart testimonies, this suggests to me that while, yes, raising children together presented hardships, they are not really the cause of troubles with your ex. Instead, they were a flashpoint for other problems between the two of you.

Conclusion

Based upon its symbolism, it appears to me that your ex appears to have settled into his new routine and  is not likely initiate contact with you himself. Unfortunately, even should you contact him – as you are plainly contemplating –, there are not strong arguments here that you will reunite as a couple. Moving in that direction promises strife and difficulties.

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